Being creative is hard.
Understanding Art is hard.
Being an artist and understanding you own art is equally is challenging.
Lets rewind 5 years. I had always loved photography as a method of creative outlet and communication. With a new camera in hand It soon because my joy to photograph, edit, read between the lines, understand why I took that photograph in that way, what it means to me and what it might mean to other people. I wanted to know more. Learn more. Be creative more. This lead me to signing up for a photography degree at my local university.
Studying photography was great, but it changed my relationship with creativity and photography forever. Photography was my freedom, my grounding, my expression. University was fast passed and challenging. We didn’t always do what we wanted to do. Deadlines came thick and fast, and them photographs I loved taking just a few months before felt like a chore, they felt pressured and fake. A new project every couple of months covering something different. Essays, presentations, group work, Reading, Lectures, organised creativity, rationals and reasoning for why the photographs were considered. Although university helped my technique, my understanding of art theory, lightning ratios, and various methods of traditional photography. Myself, and freedom as a creative got left at the door on the way in.
Fast-forward to now, Just over a year after I graduated with a first class Bachelors of Arts Honours degree. I have hardly touched my camera. Those images produced from projects I can’t compete with. How can I compile a project so in depth without guidance. Without a theme to work from. With no deadline or goal. I was a photography student, and I was working towards my deadlines, taking images for my degree. What am I taking images for now?
Before I started my degree I would have never been asking that question, I was free and took images as my creative outlet and way of communicating. I didn’t know or need to know the images I wanted to capture.
I want to get back into the mind state where I can take photographs freely.
For the past few months I have teaching myself how to draw. I have never been able to draw, but I have always been creative, and I finally feel like I improving past the stick man stage.
It has taken just over a year for me to ‘recover’ from University. To want to be creative again. To get away from the conditioning that University has imprinted on me, and allowing myself to be creative ‘just because’.
Don’t get me wrong, I loved University. I love learning, but all that pressure, those deadlines, they took something away from me that it is now, slowly coming back.
And i can’t wait to share this with you.